What Everyone Gets Wrong About Older Men Dating Younger Women

Stereotypes. Stereotypes everywhere.

Are you looking to date a younger woman but are afraid of what people will say?

Some men spend their whole lives looking for the perfect partner, only to be labeled as predators just because they date someone from a lower age group.

Unfortunately, it’s a case where a rotten apple spoils the bunch.

You have a small percentile of mischievous middle-aged men dating young, impressionable women. Then you have youthful gold diggers conning geriatrics.

Whichever the case, they give age-gap relationships a bad name. And that isn’t fair to the countless age-gap couples who are living blissfully and minding their own business.

But stereotypes don’t tell the whole story. They leave out a crucial part of the equation: real, authentic love. And that’s exactly what so many people get wrong.

They think age defines the whole relationship. And through this severely narrow viewpoint, they make other bold assertions against couples who just want to be together.

Here are other false claims about older men dating younger women:

The Women Are Only after the Money

A lot of people assume that a visibly younger girl is only in the relationship for the money. That notion is almost always exaggerated when the woman is foreign.

Like every other assumption, it is emboldened by extreme, high-profile cases. Take for instance the popular image of an elderly billionaire with his young, inexperienced trophy wife or girlfriend.

But as I said, only the extreme cases.

But let’s not ignore reality: women mature faster than men.

While many men in their late 20s and 30s would rather live the bachelor life, their female peers are way ahead of them, contemplating marriage, children, etc.

Many of these women have neither the time nor patience for these singlehood-minded men. So when they are wooed by an older man who can give them these things, why would they ever say no?

All Age-Gaps are Massive

The octogenarian dating a 20 year old is far less common than you think.

Most age-gap couples deal with a difference of about 10 years give or take.

When it comes to dating foreigners, we tend to think of massive age gaps that make it look like a man dating someone who could be his daughter. That is an exaggeration.

In an interview, an international matchmaker revealed that most clients preferred their gap to be no more than 7-10 years. In cases where the gap was 15 years, it was difficult to find a match.

If you are looking to date someone 10 years your junior, you’re well within bounds.

They are Dirty Old Men

A stereotype that has been unfairly put on these men is that they are only attracted to young women because they want to sleep with them.

That would be a fair statement to make if only men of any age didn’t want to sleep with attractive adult women of any age.

Men, regardless of age, seek companionship. There is no need to dehumanize them for seeking what we all want.

A lot of middle-aged men still hope to have a family. Younger women can still be close to them in maturity while being biologically capable of having kids.

The Women are Naive and Easy to Manipulate

We do women a disservice if we constantly dismiss their choices as ignorant and naive. When a woman in her 20s or 30s is with a man a decade older, we have to give them the benefit of the doubt that they have an undeniable connection. It’s because she precisely wants to be with a man who has maturity, experience, and capacity.

These women are not children. Let’s not treat them that way. In this day and age, there is less of a power imbalance between an older man and a young woman, and more of a collaboration.

It’s a Number. Keep it that Way.

People will always have an opinion on your love life and that’s unfortunate. If it isn’t your date’s age, it will be her nationality, her profession, or where she went to school.

The key to being happy with her is to block out all the noise. If you feel an undeniable spark, share the same long-term goals, and feel inseparable, then forge on. You’re lucky to have found each other. So don’t let go.

This story was originally published on Medium: What Everyone Gets Wrong About Older Men Dating Younger Women